TJ Webb

What Are Chickens If Not Mormon Turkeys?

Availble Now

TJ Webb returns with new music for the first time in nearly five years, and he's asking the tough questions like "What's That Strange Feeling?", "What's That Smell?", and "What Are Chickens If Not Mormon Turkeys?"

TJ releases his latest album, 21 tracks of electronic indie rock pop and alternative sounds titled "What Are Chickens If Not Mormon Turkeys?" featuring "I Don't Want To Be An American", "What's That Song?", and "I Don't Want To Be Touched". "What Are Chickens..." is available on Bandcamp March 1st and all streaming platforms in early March.

In a large bowl mix 2 cups Nine Inch Nails with 1 cup Nirvana.
Mix in 1/2 package of Smashing Pumpkins.
Add 500 ml Jack White and 1tbsp of Mitch Hedberg.
Stir to a thick batter consistency and add to pan.
Bake at 420 for one hour and nine minutes.
Nice.

In a medium sauce pan add 250 ml Cake and 125 ml Owl City.
Stir while bringing to a boil.
Stir in 1/4 cup ground cynicism and 1 tbsp Ween.
Cover and reduce heat, stirring occasionally.
Let simmer for 12 minutes.
Remove cover.
Mix in 1 tbsp irony and a pinch of Demetri Martin.
Stir and let sit.

Remove cake from oven, coat with topping.
Drizzle electronic bleeps and bloops to taste.
Place cake in blender.
Gooify.
Serve to your dog*.

*Don't actually. Dogs can't eat music and comedy, they need actual food. Ideally dog food.